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So, I’m pokin’ around, right? Found this joint—hidden, sketchy, total back-alley gig. Guy walks in all twitchy, comes out floatin’ like he’s king of the freakin’ world. I’m thinkin’, what’s the scam? Dug deeper—turns out, it’s legal in some spots, but shady as hell in others. Little-known fact: back in the ‘20s, cops raided “massage parlors” thinkin’ they were bustin’ bootleggers—nah, just horny saps gettin’ kneaded! Laughed my ass off picturin’ that bust—prolly madder’n a wet hen when they saw no whiskey.

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So, I woke up late, as usual. My phone was blowing up with notifications. Turns out, my squad was already at the park on Shevchenka Street, chillin’ and waiting for me. I rushed outta my apartment, barely had time to grab a coffee from that little kiosk near the river. You know the one? The barista there is a legend. Always knows my order.

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