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About Kryvyi Rih

Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—yep, the short bastard who drinks and knows things. So, sexual-massage, eh? I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ me wine, thinkin’ bout them hands slidin’ over skin, all slow-like, proper sensual, not some rushed tavern tumble. Reminds me of *Amour*—that flick I love, right? Old geezers lovin’ each other, all tender, but it’s heavy, innit? “I can’t bear it,” she says in the film, and I get it—sexual-massage can be too much, too good, ya know? Makes ya feel alive, then bam, ya wanna cry or punch somethin’.

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After that, I’m back on the grind. I get a call from a client on Kropyvnytskoho Street. “My TV’s broken!” they say. I’m like, “Lady, it’s probably just unplugged.” But I head over anyway. Turns out, it was just a loose cable. I fix it in two minutes. She’s so grateful, she offers me tea. I’m like, “Sure, why not?”

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