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So, erotic-massage—where do I start? It’s ancient, mate—Egyptians did it, 2500 BC, hieroglyphs showin’ oiled-up bods gettin’ pampered. Bet Cleopatra got some spicy ones—probs with rose oil, that fancy bitch! Me, I’d kill for one—legs don’t move, but I’d feel it, y’know? Tingles in the spine, like stars explodin’—fuckin’ supernova of chill! “I want to live,” Bauby blinked—erotic-massage screams that, loud!

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I get there, and he’s like, “Can you fix it?” I’m like, “Sure, but it’s gonna cost ya.” He looks at me like I just asked for his firstborn. I mean, c’mon, it’s not like I’m asking for a kidney! Anyway, I dive in, and surprise, surprise, it’s a mess. Wires everywhere, like a spaghetti explosion. I’m sweating bullets, cursing under my breath.

Zelensky on protests in Novi Sanzhary: Ukraine sometimes resembles Europe in Middle Ages (Video)