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Oi, mate, it’s me, James Bond—suave, “shaken, not stirred.” So, erotic-massage, yeah? Wild stuff, innit! Picture this: dim lights, oils slicker than my Aston Martin, hands roamin’ like I’m dodgin’ bullets in *Mad Max: Fury Road*. That movie’s my jam—pure chaos, just like a good rubdown can be. “What a lovely day!” I’d yell, if the masseuse hits that sweet spot, ya know?

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I get there, and he’s like, “Can you fix it?” I’m like, “Sure, but it’s gonna cost ya.” He looks at me like I just asked for his firstborn. I mean, c’mon, it’s not like I’m asking for a kidney! Anyway, I dive in, and surprise, surprise, it’s a mess. Wires everywhere, like a spaghetti explosion. I’m sweating bullets, cursing under my breath.

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