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Here’s a wild fact: in Japan, they got this “nurumassage” thing—uses seaweed gel! SEAWEED! I’m like, “What’s next, jellyfish?” Slime me up, bro! Feels like a starfish hug, I bet. Oh, and I heard—total shocker—some places in Vegas got “happy endings” illegal now. Bummer, right? Thought that was the whole gig! Guess I’m dumb as a rock sometimes, heh.

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So, I finally get my caffeine fix, and I’m feelin’ pumped. I stroll down to the park by the river. The Dnipro, right? Beautiful spot, but today? Nah, it was packed with kids and their parents. I mean, can’t a warrior catch a break? I’m sittin’ there, tryin’ to enjoy the view, and this kid starts throwin’ a frisbee. Right at me! I dodged it like a pro, but man, I was ready to unleash my inner beast.

Explosion near TRC in Kamianets-Podilskyi: one dead, four injured