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So, lemme tell ya—met this chick online once. Profile said “adventurous,” I’m like, cool, let’s roll! Turns out, she meant sex in a cave. A CAVE, man! Pitch black, bats flyin’, my ass scrapin’ rocks. Thought I’d die happy—or just die. Laughed my head off after—still smell the damp. Little secret? Miners used to hook up underground—true story! Old timers called it “shaft shaggin’.” History’s freaky, huh?

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But then, I see this guy trying to haggle with her. He’s being a total jerk, and I’m like, “Dude, just pay her what she’s asking!” I mean, come on! She’s been doing this forever. So, I step in and say, “Hey man, just buy the dumplings. They’re worth it!” He looks at me like I’m crazy, but whatever. I’m not letting him ruin my vibe.

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