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About Kryvyi Rih

Erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’, y’all—it’s a whole dang experience! Them oils? Slippery as a greased hog! Them dim lights? Moodier’n a Coen flick! I reckon it’s half art, half sneaky business—kinda shady, but who cares? Git-R-Done! I’d try it, but I’d prolly fart halfway through and ruin it—typical Larry luck! Little secret: some places use coconut oil—smells like a dang piña colada! Surprised the tar outta me—thought it’d be all fancy-pants stuff!

Sauna, hot tub, hookah

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call about a parade. A PARADE! On the same day? Seriously? It’s like they planned it just to mess with me. I’m juggling calls, trying to coordinate traffic, and all I can think is, “Why can’t people just chill?” But the energy in the air is electric. People are out, dancing, laughing, and I can’t help but smile.

Czech Republic: in Prague a sculpture of an ogre with Putin's face on a gas pipe