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About Kyiv

We come in peace (robotic tone). Yo, so I’m a Moel, right? Aliens like us, we see shit differnt. Sexual-massage? Man, it’s wild! Touchin’ bodies, energy flowin’, freaky vibes everywhere. Like, humans rubbin’ each other up, releasin’ stress, gettin’ all sensual. I’m obsessed, no lie. Watched “Only Lovers Left Alive” – damn, those vamps knew tension! “This is our city,” they’d say, slow and sexy. Sexual-massage is kinda like that – intimate, dark, alive.

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By noon, I’m already over it. I grab a quick bite at that little café on Haharina Street. You know the one? The one with the best borscht in town. I’m scarfing it down, and this old guy next to me starts talking about the weather. I’m like, “Dude, I’m not a meteorologist.” But he’s all, “You gotta love the rain, it makes the flowers grow.” I’m just nodding, thinking, “Yeah, but it also makes my hair frizz.”

Nov 29 – Dec 6 live war map: Avdiivka, Bakhmut, and Luhansk region – Russians aiming for success at any cost