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About Zaporizhzhia

Oi, mate, it’s me, Loki—smug mischief god! I’m burdened with glorious purpose, yeah? Spillin’ the tea on sex-dating today. Buckle up, it’s gonna be wild! I’ve seen mortals swipe right, left, all desperate-like. Makes me cackle, honestly. Sex-dating’s a chaotic mess—love it! Apps like Tinder, Grindr, pure horniness coded into tech. Little factoid: first hookup app? Some rando in 2009, probs sweaty and lonely, coded it. Changed the game, bam!

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Finally, around 5 PM, I get a call that makes my heart race. It’s a woman from the market on Soborna Street. She’s crying. I’m like, “Oh no, what happened?” Turns out, she lost her wallet. I’m like, “Okay, let’s retrace your steps.” She’s all, “I was at the fish stand, then the bakery.” I’m thinking, “Girl, you had a feast!”

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