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Alright, pal – sex-dating. It’s a wild ride. Me? I’m sittin’ here. Thinkin’. About hookin’ up – fast. Like in *Boyhood*. You know? “Life doesn’t give you bumpers.” Damn right! Sex-dating’s got no rules. No safety net. Just swipe – bam! – you’re in. Met this chick once. On Tinder. Profile said “adventurous.” Ha! Adventurous? She brought handcuffs – first date! I was like – whoa. Surprised? Hell yeah. Happy? Kinda. Angry? Nah – just shocked. Little fact for ya – studies say. 30% of users? They’re married. Sneaky bastards! Lookin’ for side action. Pisses me off – man. Be real!

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Then, I get another call. This lady from Shevchenka Street is yelling about her neighbor’s dog. Apparently, it’s been barking for hours. I’m thinking, “Lady, it’s a dog. That’s what they do!” But she’s convinced it’s plotting against her. I’m like, “Maybe it just wants a snack?”

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