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About Kryvyi Rih

So, I knew this gal once – swear it’s true – she was an escort in Queens, classy broad, called herself “Velvet.” She’d strut in heels higher than my hair, and lemme tell ya, that’s HIGH. She said, “Fran, I make bank, but the stories? Nuts!” One dude paid her to just sit there, silent, watchin’ him eat spaghetti. Spaghetti! Can ya believe it? I was dyin’, like, “What’s next, sauce on his face?” She laughed, said it beats waitin’ tables. Fair, fair.

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First stop? The market. You know, that one on the corner of Haharina? It’s always buzzing. I grab some fresh borscht ingredients. The beets were massive! Like, I swear they were trying to take over the world. I’m chatting with this old dude selling tomatoes. He’s like, “These are the best in Nosivka!” I’m like, “Bro, I’ve heard that before.” But honestly, they were pretty good.

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