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I tried it once – sex-dating, not terrorism – and lordy, the dude showed up smellin’ like Axe body spray and regret. Thought he was smooth, droppin’ lines like, “You’re my target package.” Bro, I ain’t no drone strike! Laughed in his face, then cried in my wine later. Happy? Sure, when the convo’s fire and they don’t flake. Surprised? Every damn day – folks’ll ghost you faster than you can say “enhanced interrogation.” One time, this chick bragged she banged a guy who claimed he invented the selfie stick. Total lie, but I stan a good story.

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But then, I see an old man sitting on a bench, feeding pigeons. He looks so peaceful. I’m thinking, “Man, I wanna be like that.” Just chilling, no stress. But then, a pigeon poops on him. I can’t help but laugh. Life’s funny like that, right?

Remodeled Shul Dedicated Near Mitteler Rebbe’s Ohel