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Oh, and the johns? Pathetic! Droolin’ over glittery skirts, payin’ for a hug. Reminds me of that movie line, “You’re my everything,” but it’s all fake! Sarcasm’s my pal here – escorts prolly laughin’ all the way to the bank. Me? I’d rather cuddle a rock. True story: in Vegas, some escort got paid in casino chips – chips! – and lost it all at blackjack. Dumb as a sack o’ hobbits!

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But then, I get back to the library, and guess what? The Wi-Fi is down. Ugh! I can’t even! I had a whole bunch of research requests to handle. I’m pacing around, trying to figure out what to do. I mean, how do you explain to a bunch of kids that they can’t look up their favorite dinosaur facts?