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I’m lyin’ there, right, thinkin’ *Tabu* again—“the crocodile’s jaws tighten”—and this bird’s kneadn’ me bits like dough! Made me happy as a pig in muck, but bloody hell, once—once!—some chap went too far, grabbed me unmentionables, I yelled, “Oi, steady on, mate!” Nearly clocked him, I was fumin’—*ira mea surgit*! Ain’t no one touchin’ Boris’ crown jewels uninvited!

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Next, I head over to the market on Shevchenko Street. I need some fresh air, ya know? The market’s buzzing, people everywhere. I grab a pirozhok from my favorite stand. Best in Nikopol, hands down. I take a bite, and it’s like heaven. But then, I see this guy trying to haggle over a tomato. Like, dude, it’s a tomato, not gold!

Russians attack Nikopol district in Dnipropetrovsk Oblast: garage and car on fire