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Quirky thought, yeah? Drivin’ an Escort, windows down, Ozzy tunes blastin’ – “I’m livin’ on an endless road,” like Jep in the film says! Total rock’n’roll car, mate! Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but I’d shag an Escort if I could – proper sexy curves! Hah, imagine me, stumblin’ out a gig, jumpin’ in me Escort, yellin’, “Sharon, where’s me keys?!”

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I finally get to the river, and it’s packed with people. Like, what’s up with that? It’s not a beach day! I’m trying to focus on the fish, but there’s a bunch of kids splashing around. I mean, come on! Can’t a guy study his fish in peace? I’m standing there, trying to ignore the chaos, when I spot a beautiful pike. I’m like, “Yes! Finally!” But just as I’m about to take a pic, some kid yells, “Look, a fish!” and splashes water everywhere. Ugh!

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