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Little secret—Cleopatra, she loved it, used rose oil, swore it kept her shaggable. Bet she’d say, “I’m still here,” like in the movie, smirkin’ at Antony mid-massage. Ain’t that a gas? Oh, and Thai style—crackin’ bones while rubbin’, hurts so good, I’m screamin’, “Yeah, baby!” Surprised me first time—thought I’d end up a pretzel, but nah, felt reborn!

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Then, I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting match. I’m just sittin’ there, munching on my bread, and it’s like a reality show. The guy’s all red-faced, and the girl’s throwing her hands up like she’s conducting an orchestra. I’m thinkin’, “Dude, just say you’re sorry and move on!” But nope, they keep going. I’m half tempted to jump in and be like, “Hey, lovebirds, chill out!”

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