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Escorts—pricey, polished, like a shiny doubloon! Been ‘round forever, too. Back in ol’ Rome, they had ‘em—called ‘em “hetaerae,” fancy-like. Not just fer rumpy-pumpy, nay! They’d sing, dance, chat ye up—proper cultured, savvy? Made me happy, that—knowin’ they ain’t just eye candy. But arrgh, what pisses me off? Them judgy landlubbers callin’ it dirty! Ain’t their bloomin’ business, says I!
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But then, outta nowhere, I trip. Yup, classic matador move, right? I hit the ground, and the bull’s like, “Oh, look, a snack!” I scramble up, barely dodgin’ those horns. The crowd gasps. I’m like, “Chill, I got this!”
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