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Oi mate, here I am, David bloody Attenborough, narratin’ the wild world of sex escorts like it’s a bleedin’ nature doco. Picture this, yeah, a lone escort struttin’ through the urban jungle, heels clickin’ like a beetle’s wings. Calm now, rhythmic, see – it’s nature, innit? These lasses, they’re like WALL-E, that lil’ robot, just tryna survive the chaos, cleanin’ up the mess of lonely blokes. “Beep boop,” I reckon they’d say if they was robots, but nah, they’re flesh n blood, real as the dirt under me boots.

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After that, I needed a breather. So, I hit up the local market on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with all the fresh produce? I love that place! I grabbed some apples and a loaf of bread. But then, I saw this old lady selling homemade pierogi. I couldn’t resist. I bought a dozen. Best decision ever!

Enemy fires missiles at Myrhorod at night, 2 people injured - head of Poltava military administration