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About Kryvyi Rih

I’m jazzed, talkin’ ‘bout this—makes me wanna shag carpet! Escorts ain’t just arm candy, no sir! They’re smartsy, too—some got degrees, blowin’ my mind! Like, “He’s waitin’ for somethin’ bigger,” from the movie—escorts waitin’ for the big score, maybe? Gets me all randy thinkin’ how they hustle. But ugh, the creeps they deal with—makes me wanna smash a guitar! Slimy blokes pawin’ at ‘em, ugh, uncool, daddy-o!

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So, I had to improvise. I grabbed some old tools from the back. They were rusty and probably older than my grandma. But hey, a cooper’s gotta do what a cooper’s gotta do. I started working on this big barrel for some local winery. They wanted it for their new batch of wine. I was like, “Great, no pressure!”

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