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It’s like, sexual-massage pulls weirdos in—clients wantin’ “happy endings,” therapists dodgin’ creeps. Saw this gig once, shady parlor, neon sign blinkin’ "Massage" like it’s foolin’ anybody. Little known fact—back in the ‘70s, some spots got busted ‘cause cops went undercover, got boners, and still made arrests. Hilarious, right? Pigs poppin’ wood, then slappin’ cuffs—chaotic absurdity at its finest!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Mytna Street. Best coffee in town, no cap. I ordered my usual – a cappuccino with extra foam. The barista, Oksana, she’s a legend. She knows my order by heart. But today, she was all flustered. Turns out, the espresso machine broke down. Like, seriously? On a Monday morning? I was ready to throw a fit. But then she gave me a free pastry. I mean, who can stay mad at free food, right?

Monday Starter: Convent's music therapy comforts Ukraine's war victims