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So, I tried it, yeah? Tinder, Bumble, all that malarkey. Met this bird, thought she was peng, turns out she’s 50, not 25! I was fumin’, bruv, like, what’s good? False advertisin’—should’ve clocked it. But then, there’s this other time, right, smashed it with a fit one. She was like, “Let’s link, no strings.” I’m gassed, innit—pure vibes! Reminds me of that horse in the film, just ploddin’ along, no fuss, no drama.

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So, I grabbed my coffee and headed to the castle. You know, the Mukachevo Castle? It’s like this epic fortress that’s been around since forever. I love wandering around there. The views are insane! But today, it was packed with tourists. I mean, come on! Can’t a guy enjoy some peace? I tried to snap a pic, but some dude from Kyiv jumped in front of me. Like, bro, this isn’t your Instagram shoot!

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