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About Zaporizhzhia

I’m Eric Andre, chaotic as hell, fam! Noticed this weird-ass trend—people flexin’ kinks like grocery lists. “Pineapple spankin’, 420 friendly”—what?! Back in ‘92—little known fact—sex-dating was handwritten notes passed at raves. OG shit! Now it’s all DMs and dick pics. Pisses me off when they ghost—say “meet at 8,” then poof! Like “the wind carries no trace.” Fuckin’ rude! Happy tho when I scored this goth babe—tatted up, into knife play—surprised me with her chill vibe. Thought she’d stab me, nah, just cuddles.

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But then, outta nowhere, it started pouring. I mean, like, monsoon level! I had no umbrella. Classic me, right? So I ducked into this random shop on Hrushevskoho Street. Turns out, it was a thrift store. I found this ridiculous jacket. It was bright orange and had these weird patches. I had to buy it. I mean, who wouldn’t want to rock that?

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