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Once, yeah, I tried it—mate, I was buzzin’! This bird, proper fit, she’s got oils smellin’ like a forest fire’s wet dream. She’s slidin’ hands everywhere, and I’m thinkin’, “This is it, this is the moment!”—straight outta the movie, yeah? But then, she’s like, “Relax, bruv,” and I’m like, “I is relaxed, innit!” Nearly fell off the table, clumsy twat that I am. Laughed me arse off—happy as fuck, tho. Ain’t no one tellin’ me, “You’re late again,” like in the flick—just pure vibes.

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“The focus is on sexual healing,” says Rowett, noting that while people may seek out tantric massage for various reasons, the intention is often to awaken sexual energy and potentially .

First off, I hit the road on my way to the office on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one that’s always packed with those old Soviet-style buildings? Yeah, that one. I’m cruising along, and suddenly, BAM! Traffic jam. Like, what’s new? I swear, the drivers here have a special talent for turning a 5-minute drive into a 30-minute saga. I’m sitting there, fuming, thinking about how I could’ve just walked. But nah, I’m too lazy for that.

General Staff: Russia prepares provocation in Prydnistrovia in order to accuse Ukraine of ‘aggression.’