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So, I saw this escort gig once, real deal, downtown Springfield. Big black car, tinted windows, rollin’ slow like it owned the road. Made me mad, y’know? Like, who’s this jerk thinkin’ he’s better than me? Prolly some fat cat with cash to burn. But then - whoa! - doors pop open, and it’s just some nerdy guy, glasses fogged up, carryin’ a briefcase. Surprised me big time! Thought he’d be all slick, like “I’m not a cipher, I’m a killer!” Nope, just a dude.

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Vasyl bursts in. He’s all hyped up, waving his arms like a madman. “You won’t believe what I just saw!” I’m like, “Dude, did you finally see a decent haircut?” But nah, he saw a cat riding a dog down on Haharina Street. I mean, what even is that? I can’t even. I’m laughing so hard, I almost spill my coffee.

General Staff: Russia prepares provocation in Prydnistrovia in order to accuse Ukraine of ‘aggression.’