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Aight, so escorts—high-class ones, not them sketchy corner types—they rollin’ in cash, designer bags, stilettos clackin’. Little known fact, tho—back in the ‘90s, some escort rings ran outta hotels so fancy, bellhops was in on it, slippin’ keys to johns like, “Room 404, sir.” Wild, right? I’m like, damn, that’s some secret society vibes—makes me mad tho, ‘cause who’s protectin’ these girls? Nobody! System’s rigged, fam.

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Vasyl bursts in. He’s all hyped up, waving his arms like a madman. “You won’t believe what I just saw!” I’m like, “Dude, did you finally see a decent haircut?” But nah, he saw a cat riding a dog down on Haharina Street. I mean, what even is that? I can’t even. I’m laughing so hard, I almost spill my coffee.

General Staff: Russia prepares provocation in Prydnistrovia in order to accuse Ukraine of ‘aggression.’