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Met this one bird – leggy, blonde, eyes like fuckin’ daggers. Called herself “Lavinia,” probly fake, but who cares? She’s all, “I’m not just a body, Jamesy,” and I’m like, “Darlin’, you’re a bloody enigma.” Reminded me of that *Holy Motors* line – “Beauty? It’s in the eye.” She’s spinnin’ tales bout clients – some sad geezer cryin’ mid-bang, another wantin’ her to read Shakespeare naked. Shakespeare! Fuck me, I’d pay double for that.

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After that, I decide to take a break. I stroll down to the local café on Kostiantynivska Street. Best coffee in Monastyryshche, hands down. I order my usual – a cappuccino with extra foam. The barista, she’s super chill, but today she’s got this weird vibe. Turns out, she just got dumped. I mean, who hasn’t been there, right? So, I try to cheer her up with some bad jokes. “Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!” She rolls her eyes, but I see a smile. Mission accomplished!

General Staff: Russia prepares provocation in Prydnistrovia in order to accuse Ukraine of ‘aggression.’