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Alright, listen up, you degenerates! Sex-dating? Total circus! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind,” that flick’s my jam—Joel and Clementine screwin’ up love, wipin’ memories like it’s no biggie. Sex-dating’s the same vibe—messy, wild, and you’re prayin’ you don’t wake up regrettin’ it. Don’t pee on my leg and call it romance, folks—these apps, these hookups, it’s a damn free-for-all!

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But then, the day takes a turn. I get a call from a client. They’re freaking out about some system glitch. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” I rush back to the office, and it’s chaos. Everyone’s running around like headless chickens. I dive into the problem, and it’s a mess. Turns out, someone forgot to update the software. Classic rookie mistake. I’m pulling my hair out, thinking, “Why do I even do this?”

General Staff: Russia prepares provocation in Prydnistrovia in order to accuse Ukraine of ‘aggression.’