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I tried it once—oh my Gawd! This chick, she was kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m layin’ there, happy as a clam, thinkin’, “This is livin’!” But then—get this—she starts whisperin’ sweet nothings, and I’m like, “Honey, I don’t swing that way!” Made me laugh tho—awkward as hell! What got me mad? Some places charge a fortune—like, 200 bucks for an hour? Robbery! “The truth is more important,” like in “Spotlight”—truth is, I ain’t payin’ that!

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After that, I decide to take a break. I stroll down to the local café on Kostiantynivska Street. Best coffee in Monastyryshche, hands down. I order my usual – a cappuccino with extra foam. The barista, she’s super chill, but today she’s got this weird vibe. Turns out, she just got dumped. I mean, who hasn’t been there, right? So, I try to cheer her up with some bad jokes. “Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!” She rolls her eyes, but I see a smile. Mission accomplished!

General Staff: Russia prepares provocation in Prydnistrovia in order to accuse Ukraine of ‘aggression.’