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Ever try it with scented oils? Smells amazin’, like winnin’ an election! “You think you know me?” – movie line, fits perfect! ‘Cause nobody knows Trump’s massage game. Surprised me once, hot stones, who knew? Felt like a king, folks, a total king! Some say it’s weird, I say they’re losers. Nothin’ beats a good rubdown, nothin’!

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Vasyl bursts in. He’s all hyped up, waving his arms like a madman. “You won’t believe what I just saw!” I’m like, “Dude, did you finally see a decent haircut?” But nah, he saw a cat riding a dog down on Haharina Street. I mean, what even is that? I can’t even. I’m laughing so hard, I almost spill my coffee.

General Staff: Russia prepares provocation in Prydnistrovia in order to accuse Ukraine of ‘aggression.’