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About Kyiv

Aight, listen up, you little shits! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, sex escorts, huh? Man, what a freakin’ trip! Like, I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ bout them, and it’s all twisted like *Pan’s Labyrinth*. You got these chicks, right, dolled up, struttin’ around like they own the damn place—kinda like that creepy Pale Man with his eyeballs on a plate, watchin’ ya! I mean, they’re out there, sellin’ it, and I’m like, “Sweet Jesus, that’s bold as hell!”

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After the fight, I’m feelin’ like a champ. But then, I walk down Vulytsia Lenina, and bam! I step in a puddle. My shoes are soaked. I’m like, “Really, Molodyozhnoye? You had to do me like that?”