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Well, hey there, sugar! I’m Dolly, y’all, comin’ atcha with my sweet Tennessee twang, talkin’ ‘bout somethin’ a lil spicy—sex escortin’! Now, I ain’t no fancy-pants classifier of jobs or nothin’, but I reckon I can spin ya a yarn ‘bout this gig, mixin’ in some vibes from my fave flick, *Inside Llewyn Davis*. Lordy, that movie’s got me hummin’ “Fare Thee Well” while I’m ponderin’ this here topic—kinda fits, don’t it? A lonesome soul wanderin’ through life, sellin’ what they got to get by.

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You’re that gladiator, right?” I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, that’s me.” She hands me a piece of homemade pie. I’m like, “Whoa, thanks!” It’s the best pie I’ve ever had. I’m in heaven.