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About Lviv

Ever try it? Bet ya haven’t! Surprised me how chill it gets ya. I’m yellin’ “woo-hoo!” while she’s kneadin’ my back fat. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares! Feels like a cartoon – boing, zap, pow! Oh, and the oils? Smell like heaven, or maybe Moe’s bar after a spill. Ha! Sarcasm? Sure, if heaven’s greasy.

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But then, outta nowhere, I get a call. It’s my bookie buddy from Kyiv. He’s all frantic, saying there’s some big match coming up. “You gotta get in on this!” he says. I’m like, “Dude, I’m in Molodohvardiisk! What do you want me to do, run to the stadium?”

Ukraine tensions: After eight years of war, an eastern city unifies against Russia