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About Lviv

Me? I’d be pissed if they half-assed it. Nothing worse than a lazy rubdown—get in there, dammit! Had one once—therapist was all “breathe deep,” and I’m like, “Lady, I’m not birthing a kid here!” She lied, said it’d fix my leg. Spoiler: it didn’t. But—goddamn—those hands on my back? Happy doesn’t cut it. Surprised me, honestly. Thought I’d hate it, but nah—kinda addictive.

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Then, I bump into my buddy, Vasyl. He’s always got some crazy story. Today, he tells me about this time he tried to bet on a turtle race. A turtle race! I couldn’t stop laughing. “Vasyl, you’re a genius!” I said. “Next time, let’s just bet on the pigeons in the park!”

Ukraine tensions: After eight years of war, an eastern city unifies against Russia