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Escort ain’t just sex, nah—it’s da whole package. Power, fantasy, control—like in *Her*, where Joaquin’s all needy, talkin’ to dat OS like it’s his soulmate. “I can’t stop thinkin’ about you,” he says. Same deal here—guys get lost in it, thinkin’ it’s real. Fun fact: back in Rome, escorts were high-class, educated broads—called “hetaerae” or some shit. Blows my mind! Not just bangin’, but talkin’ philosophy! Imagine dat in Jersey—some chick in heels quotin’ Plato. Hilarious!

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First stop? The corner of Shevchenka and Kirova. You know, the usual spot where all the action happens. I’m a bookmaker, so I’m always on the lookout for the next big thing. But today? Today was different.

Ukraine tensions: After eight years of war, an eastern city unifies against Russia