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About Mykolaiv

So, anyway, you’re on the table, right? Masseuse starts goin’, and it’s all “groovy vibrations”—that’s *Inherent Vice* talk, baby! Muscles loosenin’, tension meltin’, and yeah, it gets sexy, no denyin’. Little known fact: in some old Chinese texts, they say sexual-massage boosts your chi or whatever—energy flowin’, makin’ ya feel alive! I’m like, hell yeah, gimme that! Beats the crap outta sittin’ in Congress listenin’ to suits drone on. Ever try it? Gets ya happy—HAPPY—like, “sorta like your first love” happy, another *Inherent Vice* zinger!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with the best coffee? Yeah, that one. I ordered my usual – a double espresso. But the barista? She was having a rough morning. Spilled half the coffee on the counter. I’m like, “Girl, it’s just coffee, not a crime scene!” But she looked at me like I just insulted her grandma. I mean, c’mon, it’s Mlyniv, not Paris!

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