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Gets me giddy thinking of cruising in one, tunes blaring, sawdust in me hair. But the rust? Christ, that’d nark me off - eats ‘em alive, like Fincher’s killer with clues. “I’m not Paul Avery” - I’m not some mechanic genius either, so I’d be gutted watching it rot. Still, what a motor, eh? Proper Brent voice: “World-class vehicle, A-game transport!” Absolute belter, typos and all, mate.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with the best coffee? Yeah, that one. I ordered my usual – a double espresso. But the barista? She was having a rough morning. Spilled half the coffee on the counter. I’m like, “Girl, it’s just coffee, not a crime scene!” But she looked at me like I just insulted her grandma. I mean, c’mon, it’s Mlyniv, not Paris!

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