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About Kyiv

I ain’t no saint, alright? Done my share, swipin’, chattin’, fuckin’ around. Happy as a pig in shit when it works—met this one chick, legs for days, thought “I’m lost in the forest,” like that movie line. Hooked up, no strings, pure bliss. But then you get the crazies—dude, one guy sent me a PDF of his “sex resume.” Ten pages, fuckin’ lunatic! Laughed my ass off, then blocked him. Who’s got time for that shit?

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First off, I hit up the local café on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with the best coffee? Yeah, that one. I ordered my usual – a double espresso. But the barista? She was having a rough morning. Spilled half the coffee on the counter. I’m like, “Girl, it’s just coffee, not a crime scene!” But she looked at me like I just insulted her grandma. I mean, c’mon, it’s Mlyniv, not Paris!

Larry Felton and Janet Felton