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So, sex-dating—man, it’s a rollercoaster. You got apps like Grindr, Bumble, whatever—scrollin’ through pics, hopin’ they ain’t catfishing with a 10-year-old selfie. Fun fact: back in the ‘90s, folks used newspaper ads for this crap—legit “single male seeks hot night” vibes. No filters, just ballsy desperation. Now? We’re all spoiled with DMs and dick pics—yep, unsolicited junk mail’s still a thing. Pisses me off! I’m like, “Buddy, I didn’t order that sausage!”

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So, I’m on my way to the office, right? And I see this old babushka selling fresh berries. I mean, who can resist that? I stopped, grabbed a handful of those juicy strawberries. Best decision ever! But then, I realized I was late. Like, really late. My team was probably already plotting my demise.