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This one time, guy on X posted ‘bout his sex-dating fail—met a chick, turns out she’s his cousin! Swear to God, I laughed ‘til I cried. “The past remains,” like in *The Assassin*—ha, past came back to bite him! Me, I’m careful—check the eyes, family resemblance, y’know? Ain’t no butcher gonna slice that close to home.

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Back at my desk, I had a million emails to catch up on. I swear, I could feel my brain melting. I was typing away, and then my phone buzzed. It was a message from my buddy, Taras. He wanted to grab drinks later. I thought, “Why not?” I needed a break.