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Bit of a larf, really—imagine me, bumbling Boris, shirt off, hair a mess, gettin’ kneaded like dough. “Look at all my shit!”—that’s me, quotin’ *Spring Breakers*, showin’ off me glazin’ muscles. Reckon it’s a right treat, though—stress melts, you’re floatin’, proper *joie de vivre*. Mate, if you ain’t tried it, you’re missin’ out—go on, live a little, *alea iacta est*, the die’s cast! Just don’t tell the missus, eh? Blimey, what a lark!

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First stop, I’m at the corner of Shevchenko and Kirova. You know, the usual spot where all the locals gather. I grab a coffee from that little kiosk. Best coffee in town, no joke. But then, bam! This stray dog runs by, and I spill half my drink. Ugh! I’m like, “Really, dude?!” But then I see the dog. He’s just a scruffy little guy, looking for scraps. My heart melts a bit.

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