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Sometimes I’m thinkin’, dang, this is exhausting! Swipe, chat, meet, bang—repeat. “What a day, what a lovely day!”—if it works, that is. Other times, it’s a damn wasteland of ghostin’ and weirdos. Met a gal once, seemed sweet, then she asks me to wear a gas mask—uh, no thanks, sister! I ain’t that kinky, even for Dr. Phil. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? She prob’ly still out there, chasin’ her freak flag.

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But then, I see this couple having a picnic. They’ve got a whole spread—sandwiches, fruit, the works. I’m low-key jealous. I mean, who doesn’t love a good picnic? So, I wander over, and they invite me to join. I’m like, “Sure, why not?” We end up chatting about life in Mirnoye, and they’re telling me about the best spots to eat. I’m taking notes, mentally, of course.

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