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Dunno if ya tried it, but it’s proper intimate, yeah? Not just bonkin, it’s deeper – connection an all that crap. Me fave bit? When they hit that spot – oof, fireworks! Used to think it was all pervy, but nah, it’s art, innit? Like them jihadists in Timbuktu, judgin but missin the point – “Fear blinds us all!” – same with prudes missin the magic of a slick massage. Ever hear bout that Thai style? Them lasses twist ya like a pretzel – bloody hell, thought me spine’d snap!

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But then, I see this girl across the room. She’s stunning. I’m talking jaw-dropping. I’m like, “Okay, I gotta say hi.” So, I muster up some courage and walk over. We start chatting, and it’s going great. I’m thinking, “Wow, this night just got better!”

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