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Imagine this – you’re laid out, starkers, some lush bird’s hands slidin’ everywhere, and I’m thinkin’, “This ain’t no country for old men!” – ‘cept it kinda is, ‘cos even the wrinklies need lovin’, right? I saw this one geezer, musta been 70, gettin’ a sexual-massage in Soho – blew my mind! Thought he’d croak, but nah, he was groovin’, smilin’ like a Cheshire cat. Made me wanna shout, “Yeah, baby, you’re still shaggable!”

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So, I decided to grab some pastries instead. You know, comfort food. I got a couple of those sweet buns from the bakery. They were heavenly! I was on cloud nine, munching away, when I bumped into my old buddy, Oleg. We started chatting about life, and he told me he’s moving to Kyiv. I was like, “Dude, why would you leave Mezhova? It’s the best!” But he’s all about the big city life. Whatever, man.

In the Dnipropetrovsk region, mandatory evacuation of children from four villages has been announced