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But ugh, the fakes—catfishers piss me off. Some chick says she’s 25, shows up lookin’ 50—nah, I’m out. Or dudes promisin’ “mind-blowin’ fun” and last 30 seconds—pathetic. Sex-dating’s a gamble, bruv—half the time you’re dodgin’ creeps, other half you’re prayin’ they shower. Still, I dig the thrill—like me stealin’ the Tesseract, it’s messy but *mine*. “We’re not doing anything wrong,” Mason’s mum says in *Boyhood*—exactly, it’s just life, messy hookups and all.

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Then, I had to run to the post office on Komsomolska Street. I swear, that place is a black hole of time. I stood in line for what felt like a century. I was losing my mind. I mean, how many stamps does one person need? Finally, I got to the counter, and the lady was like, “Next!” I was ready to scream, “I’m next, lady!” But I kept it cool.

"I forgot to close the door." An evacuee’s rush to safety in Ukraine