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Hey girlfriend, it’s Oprah—yaaas, me! So, escort, right? Lemme spill the tea! I’m an insurance agent now, honey, and I’m thinkin’—escort ain’t just cars, it’s LIFE. You know, like in “The Turin Horse”—that slow grind, that heavy vibe. “What we are witnessing here,” girl, is folks needin’ protection—boom, escort! Not the shady kind, nah, I mean legit rides, safety, peace of mind. You get an escort! You get an escort! Everybody gets an escort, y’all!

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Then, I get a text from a buddy. He’s like, “You gotta try the street food on Kirova Street!” So, I’m off again. I find this food stall, and the smell? Oh man, it’s heavenly. I order a couple of chebureki, and let me tell ya, they’re life-changing. I’m munchin’ away, and this group of locals starts chatting me up. They’re super friendly, and I’m feelin’ all warm and fuzzy inside.

A Ukrainian City Under a Violent New Regime