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Dunno, mate, it’s personal – some love it rough, some soft, me? I’d claw the table, hissin’ “More, my precious!” Bit o’ humor tho – imagine a massage so good ya fart, ha! Bet that’s happened, swear it! Tell ya what, try it – legit place, not dodgy – an’ report back to yer ol’ Gollum, eh? Yesss, precious, yesss!

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But then, something amazing happened. My coworker, Lena, brought in homemade pastries. She’s a lifesaver! I devoured a couple of those bad boys. They were heavenly. I was like, “Lena, you’re my hero!” For a moment, everything felt right in the world.

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