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About Kryvyi Rih

Oi, mateys! Cap’n Jack Sparrow here, savvy? Been sailin’ the wild seas o’ sex-datin’, arrgh! Me fave flick’s *Ten*, that dusty road yarn by Kiarostami—makes me think, aye. Sex-datin’s a rum game, full o’ twists like them chats in the car, y’know? “What’s your name, darling?”—straight from the film, but here it’s all swipe-right shenanigans!

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Then, I had to deal with the delivery guy. He was supposed to bring supplies from the warehouse on Yalta Street. But guess what? He got lost. Lost! In Massandra! I mean, it’s not that big! I had to give him directions like I was a tour guide. “Turn left at the fountain, then right at the old oak tree.” Seriously, how hard can it be?

Crimea - The Wine Regions, Grape Varieties & History