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Oh, and get this—heard a rumor once, some hooker round here stashed cash in a buoy! Cops never found it—how’s that for clever? Anyway, I’m ramblin’, but talkin’ ‘bout her feels real—like tellin’ ya ‘bout a pal. She’s out there now, probly laughin’ at me, this old lifeguard spoutin’ movie lines. “To glean is to gather,” Varda’d say—well, I’m gatherin’ stories, and hers? It’s a freakin’ keeper.

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Then, I had to deal with the delivery guy. He was supposed to bring supplies from the warehouse on Yalta Street. But guess what? He got lost. Lost! In Massandra! I mean, it’s not that big! I had to give him directions like I was a tour guide. “Turn left at the fountain, then right at the old oak tree.” Seriously, how hard can it be?

The death of the Massandra winery in occupied Crimea