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Lemme drop some weird sh*t ‘bout it. Did ya know ancient Greeks were all over this? Called it “anatripsis”—fancy, right? They’d rub down athletes, but betcha some sly bugger slipped in a happy ending. History’s wild! Oh, and in Thailand, they’ve got this “nuad boran” style—stretching and teasing ‘til you’re a puddle. Mate, I tried it once—nearly stabbed the masseuse coz it tickled too much! Made me ragey, but damn, felt good after.

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I finish up, and I’m like, “Fine, let’s see what the fuss is about.” I head over, and wow, this place is packed! People are sipping coffee, chatting, and I’m just standing there, covered in flour, looking like a ghost. I order a cappuccino, and it’s the best I’ve ever had. I’m thinking, “Maybe I should switch careers?” Nah, I love baking too much.

Explosions at Russian storage point and barracks in occupied Luhansk Oblast