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About Mykolaiv

Me, I’d suck at it. “Hi, I’m Hannibal, let’s nap.” Deadass, I’d charge extra for sarcasm. Prolly get fired day one—client’s like, “Be sexy,” I’m like, “Here’s a dad joke.” Oh, and typos—escrot, escprt, escor—shit, my phone hates me.

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First thing, I’m mixing dough for my famous пиріжки. You know, the ones that make people stop in their tracks on Kropyvnytskoho Street? Yeah, those. But guess what? I run outta yeast! Like, seriously? Who runs outta yeast? So, I dash over to the local store on Shevchenka Street. It’s still dark, and I’m half-asleep, tripping over my own feet.

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